A couple of oldies

[Ignatzcatz]

Girl and boy just after making love . . .
He says "If I'd known you were a virgin I'd have taken more time."
She says "If I'd known we had more time I'd have taken my tights off."

Two Irishmen meet crossing the desert, one carrying a telephone box and the other carrying a blacksmith's anvil.
The first enquired why he was carrying a telephone box? "Well" replied Pat, "if any wild animals appear, I can put the box down, get inside, and I'm safe."
Of course the other had to ask why he was carrying an anvil? "Well" said Mike, "Much the same reason as yourself, if any wild animals start to attack me, I can drop the anvil and run faster!"